can you believe this crap?! from the papers of diana freeburg

worlds most fascinating college graduate

Friday, December 15, 2006

Dear Diary,
It's nearly two AM. I'm in the library again. I really need to be working on finishing my paper right now, but this material is too good to pass up. I am writing an 8 page paper about two shopping bags. A shopping bag from Kiehl's and a shopping bag from Urban Outfitters. Why? you may ask. and, How? It's for class. A paper on semiotics. "the science of signs." Oh, but it's not hard, my friend. It's funny because everyone else in the library is looking at books and stuff and taking notes and making citations and thinking big thoughts, and I am staring at a paper bag and a plastic bag. I drank a Red Bull and now I'm all jazzed. I had to take a lap around the library to burn off some of this nervous energy. I am typing extremely fast and using the backspace key quite a bit. A good indication that I should never do drugs, if I can't even handle a soda. I hope I don't crash very soon, I still have a few pages to go. I think you're sposed to crash after having one of these. Until then, I will ride the wave.
Love,
Diana

Monday, December 11, 2006

Dear Diary,
I was at the library until 3:00am last night, feeling VERY sorry for myself, and now I am still not done with sucky paper. Now, 5 hours later, I am in the cyber cafe with my laptop and all my books behind the counter. I kind of hate my life right now. This would be the point in the game when I get called off the field and the coach puts her hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eyes and says, "Diana, It's been a long game and you're lagging. I know you've had a couple of rough plays out there but you can do it, I've seen you do it. Now get back out there and show me what you've got!!!" Then I would wipe the blood, sweat and tears off my face with the back of my hand, put my mouth guard back in, and run back on to the field with renewed zeal.
Unfortunately though, this isn't a football/lacrosse/whatever sport they use mouthguards in kind of game. It's just a 20 page essay about communication and culture.
Love,
Diana