can you believe this crap?! from the papers of diana freeburg

worlds most fascinating college graduate

Friday, January 06, 2006

Dear Diary,
Today I got an interesting phone call. It was a wrong number. The guy didn't even say hi, he was just like "DUDE, ARE YOU AT THE SUMMIT?" So I'm assuming he was calling from a chairlift at Snoqualmie. I told him he had the wrong number and he apologized profusely. However his language was sort of garbled, like he had spaghetti for brains and thus had trouble forming sentences. But five minutes later I get ANOTHER call, from the same number. I pick it up and he's like, "So, I hate to bother you and stuff, but do you have a boyfriend? See, my buddies and I are having a party tonight, and you sound way hot on the phone. Do you go to the Dub?" (U-dub=University of Washington) So in my best of-course-I'm-way-to-cute-for-you voice, I'm like, "A lot of my friends go to the Dub, and me having a boyfriend is none of your bidness" He told me to call him if I wanted to come to the party later since his number was in my phone already. Is it bad that some random stoned dude saying my voice was cute made my day?
My mom and I just watched the most boring and uninspired Bill Murray movie ever. Made me think. "wow, this is just as boring and uninspired as Lost in Translation was." If I had removed all of the shots of Bill just sitting on a plane, or driving in his car, the movie would have been ten minutes long. "Broken Flowers" Don't see it. My mom says the director must have been arrogant about his "vision" to think that people would have liked such a boring movie.
Love,
Diana

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Dear Diary,
There appears to be a Jon Stewart imitator directly following his show at 11:30. Tough act to follow.
My brother and I are watching The Rainmaker on tv. We have concluded that we are sooo way better lawyers than Matt Damon. We have lots of commentary- "make an objection, you asshole!" or, "WTF! he just got that sustained because he yelled louder!" Alex is wearing a bow on his head that he tied there earlier, it's really precious. Christmas wrapping remenants. I think he has forgotten about it.
Love,
Diana

Monday, January 02, 2006

Dear Diary,
My mom just left to go to Yakima for three whole nights. I don't know how I'm going to function when she's gone. Who's going to feed the cats? Who's going to wake me up for work and cook dinner? It makes me really sad to think about it.
I've been working a lot, I wish I had some good work stories but I can't think of any really quality ones off the top of my head. This woman who was about a hundred got really mad at me the other day because she thought I was ripping her off. She had a coupon and didn't understand how it worked, even though I explained it to her 3 or more times. I really thought I explained it quite clearly and patiently, but then she went to her table and started bitching to her husband about us. Today another woman commented that she was impressed with my patience, as she counted out five dollars in change to pay for her purchase. I wanted to say, lady, this is nothing. I will sit here all day watching you count out change, but when you start accusing us of false coupon advertising, that's when things get heated.
Alright, I just won the boring game! Could my life be any more trivial? Maybe I should start documenting the sleeping patterns of my cats, or keep an online diary of my eating habits. Today, mushroom barley soup and cookie. Followed by enchilada. grilled cheese on the horizon.
Love,
Diana