can you believe this crap?! from the papers of diana freeburg

worlds most fascinating college graduate

Friday, April 01, 2005

Dear Diary,
Another amazing day. I had my first falafel sandwich all to myself. Made me feel very hip and cultured. And, went on a bike ride all the way downtown and across the river and all over the place. Next time though, I'm going to wear some cargo shorts and long underwear underneath it perhaps carry a messenger bag, so i'll fit the image a little more. I don't think the fitted velour hoodie and little jeans that I was wearing today really goes with the portland biker scene. I couldn't get over how far away from campus we were, and I wasn't even tired. I'm going to have to do the bike thing more often. Elliott showed me some good places to ride that don't involve scary arterials and intimidating hills. two of my biggest fears, right up there with the little red marks that my helmet makes on my forehead never going away.
I wore my fur boots to my global resource dilemmas class today and I feel that i was personally attacked in the class discussion. Mr. blond beard next to me, (who talks a mile a minute and then is like, "what!? i'm a debator. It's just what i do.") said something along the lines of "if we kill all of the rabbits for fur, there won't be any more left over." I wanted to say something like, "excuse me, blond beard, have you ever heard the expression, "going at it like rabbits"? well I'm fairly confident that's because rabbitts have no trouble reproducing rapidly, and besides, these boots were on sale, and they're awesome."
Love,
Diana

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Dear Diary,
Remember back in the day when computers couldn't do that much stuff? They were hard to use and they always broke and the screens weren't cool and flat? Me neither. Times have changed, and for the better let me tell you. I am getting to be overwhelmed by the amount of time I can spend entertained by these electric devices. When computers get smarter than humans and they start systematically brainwashing us into becoming their slaves I'm confident that I will be the first to go.
Today was another eventful day. Another disapointing trip to the eyedoctor in Clackamas. But that was quickly forgotten when i found in my mailbox, an envelope containing a sock that my parents found in the dryer from last time I was home. I can sleep easy now knowing that a pair of my socks is no longer separated by state borders. I can't think of anything worse than a sock drawer containing an odd number of socks. Perhaps a closet with an odd number of shoes. But that is just pure carelessness.
Love,
Diana

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Dear Diary,
I can't believe it is almost April. Sometimes i marvel at how long i've managed to make it on this planet. Life is not all rainbows and butterflies. Lately I've felt like Ariel in the little mermaid. She knows that there is something magnificent out there, however, it is just out of her reach on account of her having a fin instead of legs. Even if you have legs, like i do, and you go to nice college and have a cute cell phone and a part time job that keeps you in disposible income, sometimes i just feel like there is more out there. I've been looking for it at coffee shops and in New York and outside and on itunes and in summer jobs and in friends, but I haven't found it. What haven't i found? geezus I don't know! i'll let you know when i figure it all out. until then. bear with me here.
I found out there is no creative writing at my college. what kind of crap is that. Since I am interested in learning how to make my website even more magnificent, i wanted to take either creative writing or computer science. Looks like I'll be taking computer science. My dad will be so proud.
Love,
Diana

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Dear Diary,
I have found a very important place to get all of my information from now on. Finally I can stop doing all of that dumb reading that teachers assign me, because i have found the gossip section of MSN.com. Apparently, Paris Hilton has dumped her dog tinkerbelle, and has been seen toting a NEW chihuahua around Hollywood. I wonder how tinkerbelle feels about this. I can't imagine that she's very happy about not being famous anymore. Also, Russell Crowe is releasing an album. He says that the main single on the CD has the ability to make both women and men cry. It seems that he is not modest about the earthshaking capability of the album.
This Saturday, #2 and I are going kayaking with college outdoors. We get to wear neoprene hats and they provide the lunch. It should be amazingly fun. While i was in the college outdoors office, i picked up a copy of this kayaking magazine, and flipped to an article about this guy who died his first time trying to kayak. Maybe that was a bad idea to read that. If i am going to be freaked out about something as lame as kayaking maybe I should just start wearing a helmet 24/7 and never leave my dorm room.
Love,
Diana

Monday, March 28, 2005

Dear Diary,
How many songs out there are written about things other than love? five? ten? I should make a separate playlist on my pod for them. because to be frank, sometimes I am just not in the mood for a song that has anything to do with that. There are other things in life to be excited about. I will list most of them.
For instance, rock and roll, the beach, dogs in cute sweaters, sweet bikes with pegs, good customer service, bernie mac, hello kitty bandaids, breaks from work, not living on the east coast where people aren't human, labelmakers, ice cream cakes, fresh air, slot machines, soft hair, awesome shoes, when candy is 4 for a dollar at fred meyer, funny siblings, small streams and rivers at the end of nice hikes. The list goes on.
Love,
Diana

Dear Diary,
I am back from my spring break adventures. Now it's time to get down to business with the studying.
Yesterday i was in three major cities all in one day. I'm pretty confident that that feat has never been attempted before. That pretty much took all of my energy.
I can't believe that after all this I can't think of anything to write about. the weather sucks, spring break is over, and i hope there's tacos at lunch today.
Love,
Diana